Thursday, September 24, 2009

Debbie's predicament and how she won

Debbie sat still for a moment on her bed before she reached out to switch the night lamp off. It was a habit for her to meditate before she turned in for the night. And it had helped her on various occasions. For instance, three months back when her company told her not to come back the next morning, she had spent a little extra time than she usually would on meditation. In a way, she was glad that she didn’t have to go to work the next day. She wasn’t enjoying herself at work anymore. But the thought that she would lose her financial independence sat heavy on her heart. She did have enough savings to pull her through for the next four months at least but she would have to spend on her insurance premium, her credit card payment and her phone bills. That would leave her with little or no cash. But Debbie wasn’t thinking about that. She was thinking about what happened that evening.

It all started when Debbie told her parents that she wasn’t ready yet to get married. She and Shan were dating for more than five years. Out of those five years, they lived together for two. Though they had thought about getting hitched, Debbie’s retrenchment led to some doubts regarding their plans of a designer wedding. It had to be postponed indefinitely. Moreover, after thinking it through, they found out that both weren't emotionally and economically ready to tie the knot yet. Shan had a lot of financial commitments to fulfill before he could even think of marriage. Debbie didn’t yet want to let go of her emotional independence. Add to that her job-loss, the situation was complicated. The best possible solution would be to postpone the wedding till both were on firmer grounds. Debbie had explained all this to her parents thinking that they would understand. She was so wrong! Not only did they not agree to postpone the wedding, they silently admitted that Debbie was becoming a ‘financial liability’ for them. It would be important to mention here that Debbie’s father worked in one of the oldest and best corporate houses in India. He drew a handsome six figure salary every month and their whole family maintained a healthy and upmarket lifestyle. Debbie herself studied in one of the best Convents in the city and the best of the colleges. She was a topper from her college and her good marks led to her being accepted in one of the best and the most prestigious J-schools in the country. Debbie had started working while she was still in college. She worked as a full time journalist during her final year and yet she had stunned the academic world by topping in her department. Shan was then a rookie in the television world producing social awareness shows. With Masters in Literature, he could charm everyone with his wide range of knowledge and his sense of humour and humility. Debbie had fallen for that and they started dating.

Both realised that they needed to have a professional qualification to make it big in the world of media. Thus they went to study at the country’s best J-school together, something that had drawn much ire from Debbie’s parents. A year doing Post-Graduation and the next year working in the best media house in the country, they lived together and dreamed of building a rocking life. Their dream was cut short by the untimely death of Shan’s father. They had to return to their home town. Even though that proved to be a good move for saving up on their finances, both were robbed of their peace of mind. They were so used to each other and their own independence that staying with their respective families made them miss their life together. Both coped up and a year later, Shan had built his father’s house from scratch. He bought a brand new car too. Debbie was able to clear off all her pending credit card dues and managed to have huge savings, something that was unthinkable when they were living away! But all did not look so rosy. Debbie lost her job when her company fired her on the pretext of ‘recession’. Nobody knew ‘recession’ better than Debbie. She was a financial journalist and her interaction with the bigwigs in the world of business taught her that ‘recession’ was a word cooked up by certain media channels to create hype about the global economy that was in bad shape. India most certainly, was well shielded except certain IT companies which had huge overseas dealings. But all private firms jumped on the bandwagon all at once to announce that they were in ‘recession’. Good excuse for firing people and trimming down on corporate expenditure. Debbie never thought that one day, it would happen to her. And so it happened, Debbie and Shan were not ready to get hitched yet.

After a whole day of arguments, quarrels and buckets of tears being shed, Shan was called to her home to discuss the situation. Her parents had hoped that he would bail them out (or so they thought) and marry Debbie. When Shan refused and took Debbie’s side, her parents were furious. There was screaming, heated arguments, tears. (Debbie’s younger sister who was in college very diplomatically kept herself aloof from all this. She was dating a guy herself and didn’t want anything going wrong when her ‘turn’ came.) At one point Shan, having had enough from Debbie’s sycophantic mother almost walked out. It took a lot of persuading from Debbie’s father to get him to change his mind. The most shocking moment was when Shan frankly asked Debbie’s dad if Debbie was becoming a burden for them. Forty seconds of painful silence was enough for Debbie’s world to go upside down. Not a word was spoken yet Debbie couldn’t believe what she heard. That was it. Shan was stunned. He very reluctantly agreed to the marriage. Debbie was still in shock and was silent for the rest of the discussion. Before leaving, Shan held her in his arms and said, “Don’t worry Debbie, we’ll make it. It is clear that they don’t want you to stay here. We will stay together. And...you are a survivor, you know that. One day, your immature parents will realise their mistake. But you would be far far away then celebrating...something...I love you...and stop crying!” His firm tone at the end of the sentence jolted Debbie back to her senses. She didn’t realise that her cheeks were wet with tears and her eyes were swollen. The truth was out and she had to accept it. But, she decided, she will accept it gracefully and with dignity.
The next morning, everything was back to normal. As usual, Debbie woke up late. She slept real late too. There was her sister, dressing up to go out. Her mother, preparing lunch and her father having tea and reading the papers. It was as though nothing had happened yesterday. But something had changed in Debbie. She had read the Gita again last night especially a small portion of the 14th Chapter:

Krishna: He who hates not light, nor busy activity, nor even darkness, when they are near, neither longs for them when they are far;

Who unperturbed by changing conditions sits apart and watches and says, ‘the powers of nature go round’, and remains firm and shakes not;

Who dwells in his inner self, and is the same in pleasure and pain; to whom gold or stones or earth are one, and what is pleasing or displeasing leave him in peace; who is beyond both praise and blame, and whose mind is steady and quiet...he passes beyond the three powers and can be one with Brahman and the ONE...


This had inspired her to be detached from worldly affairs, enlightened her about where the paths of glory lay and strengthened her spirit to beat the odds.

Debbie is a published writer now. At thirty eight, she stays in her 15th floor penthouse in New Delhi with Shan (who heads the country’s top radio station) and two lovely Dalmatians. She takes a vacation twice a year. Most of the time Shan joins her but secretly, she prefers traveling alone, unattached. After she got married at twenty five, Debbie sat for the Civil Services and cleared the Foreign Service category one shot. She served in the External Affairs Ministry as a Researcher and traveled the globe. At thirty two, she took a year’s break to put together her life’s experiences in a book which she dedicated, surprisingly to her parents and thanked them for ‘giving her away’ to such a wonderful man who inspired in her all that is ‘beautiful and divine’. Penguin India jumped at it after reading her manuscript and paid her a handsome advance. The book sold in thirty two languages in the country and abroad. Debbie couldn’t have asked for a happier life. She still carries the Gita with her wherever she goes and draws inspiration from it.

Friday, September 18, 2009

BLOG-TOBERFEST!!

Dear Readers!

It is festive time in this part of the world so expect to be treated to some exciting pieces of writing in both my blogs all this season till the end of October! I'd be travelling to Karnataka soon and would be writing about my experiences there. I am enjoying this new, strange and exciting phase of my life. I will write all about it! All October! Stay glued to deblinachakravorty.blogspot.com and beyondafter.blogspot.com.

Ciao
xoxo
D

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

What Happened In Paromita's Chamber

About two weeks back I visited an astrologer to try and find out why my career-graph had suddenly hit a plateau. I wasn’t much for it in the beginning. It was my cousin’s constant prodding that made me agree to see her once. “She will counsel you and guide you to the right path”, was what she had said. All of 20, my cousin consulted the astrologer at every crucial stage of her life. So I went.

Her name was Paromita and her chamber was a six feet by six feet cube nestled in the mezzanine floor of a residential building in Triangular Park. On entering the cube I was amazed to see at least fifteen people sitting inside it. I thought, I was suffering from an optical illusion, that the cube is actually twelve by twelve at least; or the cube is made of lycra, it expands. Nevertheless, I sat on a low stool among the fifteen people, majority of who were women. The dilapidated yellow walls were covered with pictures of various deities, and the goddess herself. Paromita was a heavy set woman with a complexion like liquid gold. She wore her wavy hair long and her parting was prominently adorned with vermilion. Most of her pictures were at least 25 years old or even more for she was a young and beautiful woman then. She was seen beside every who’s who in the city, from Ananda Shankar, Amala Shankar, Mamata Shankar and the rest of the Shankar clan to Kishore Kumar, Uttam Kumar, Supriya Debi, Moon Moon Sen, Jyoti Basu and the likes. In some of the pictures she was seen with a man and a child. Her husband and kid, I presumed. An old woman sat at a small desk inside the cube with a register where I had to er...register myself in exchange of two hundred and fifty bucks.

The next forty or so minutes were spent casually looking around and wondering what made these morbid looking people flock to this cube. The women wore the exact same expressions of awe and foreboding. Some had to get their daughters married, others in search of a lucrative career option for their sons. I assumed most peoples’ problems would border around these issues. The men were here, I presumed, in search of remedies for their arthritic problems, who not to include in their ‘will’s and a general question regarding their mortality/longevity. My thoughts inevitably spiralled back to my own problems and what on earth was I doing in an astrologer’s cubbyhole! I was simultaneously considering the option of sneaking out the door into the cool night, mentally calculating how fast can I do up my shoe-straps. That was when I saw the elderly lady come out of Paromita’s private chamber where she ‘saw’ her clients. The old receptionist signalled me to say it’s my turn now. I picked up my red handbag and quietly stepped in.

The private chamber was simply space scooped out from the six by six with frosted glass panels serving as partitions from the waiting area outside. The space was just about enough to accommodate two chairs and a desk and several thick, hard bound books that lay scattered on the floor. There was a ledge where statuettes of several deities graced the tiny chamber with their hallowing presence. Strong incense burned somewhere but I could see no smoke and...holy shit, there was a massive air conditioner on the back wall of the chamber. True, it was freezing in here and there was the deity of deities, the goddess herself: Paromita.

She must’ve been around sixty but her skin glowed all the same. Her hair, now hennaed red was left open like in the photographs. I noticed a strategically placed light bulb on the wall behind her lend a deifying glow to her thick mane and I could almost see light rays radiating out of her lustrous tresses. I could not help but let out a quiet sigh of awe!

Sitting down on one rickety chair, I saw her from eye-level. Though I couldn’t see her eyes hidden behind gigantic bifocals, the kind worn by our grandparents, there was no mistaking her smile that lingered just for a few seconds on those lips. And then she spoke. “You are getting married anytime soon?” Her figure doesn’t quite betray her voice which was a low squeak. I was annoyed at her blunt question and the fact that she put it forward like a statement. “Um no...I mean yes...well...not very soon but...er...” was all I could manage. She smiled that smug smile of the ‘all-knowing’. “I see a lot of trouble...” Yeah, so do I. “You will have a lot of trouble adjusting to your new environment. There would be clashes, quarrels, fights. But you have to keep your ego at bay. You have a volatile and extremely unpredictable nature. It would do you more harm than good. After all, you have to live under somebody or the other...” Excuse- me. Did I hear her right? Did she just say the words: have to live UNDER somebody? “Um I don’t understand what exactly you mean...” “What I mean is,” and she went on, “All your life you would have to adjust or stay under the authority of somebody. When you were a child, you were under the authority of your parents. After marriage wouldn’t you want to live under the protective authority and love of your husband?” That was it. I was on fire. I fought to try to keep my voice even. “Why do you feel that I need to stay ‘under’ somebody’s authority? Ha ha (tried a chuckle) like I’m some artifact or something!” “Well well young lady, you have been born a woman (thanks for the information!). And being a woman isn’t it your responsibility to obey and adjust all your life?” I immediately punched her face, her humongous bifocals split into two. I then took her face and bashed it on the wall behind her and asked her to tear into tiny pieces all the hard bound books that lay on the floor and then I stuffed those tiny pieces of paper down her throat till her oesophagus was full of paper. Of course, I did all of that only in my momentary reverie. In reality, I gave her a good advice. “Lady, if this is what you have been telling the women who come to you seeking answers to their questions, I feel sorry for them. I believe their problems have increased ten-folds after consulting you. I am not going to take any of your nonsense for I came here for some insights into my career not to hear sermons on domesticity. And if you are thinking I would want my Two-fifty bucks back, you are wrong. Keep it as a tip. Goodbye.”

While I bent down at the door tying my shoe-straps, I saw the girl who was scheduled to go in after me, get up from her seat. Her eyes were dancing with expectation and her full round face was brimming with joy of youth. She must hardly be 20. Another one bites the dust, I thought as she pulled down her tank top a little to cover her navel. In two seconds she vanished behind the door, ready to be chastised.